There are alot of things in life youre prepared for. School,Marriage,Children. As a (retired) army wife, youre prepared for alot more. Separations, deployment,TDY…the works.
In life there are more things youre unprepared for however. One thing that I feel completely blindsided by, even though I have known the day was coming for five years now, is the start of Kindergarten for my oldest son. Ive known this day would come, Ive known he would have to spread his wings and start this educational journey. Im prepared for THAT. What Im not prepared for is letting go.
He has been my little buddy since day one, since we found out we would be welcoming him into this world. He’s been a part of me, like the shirt I wear on my back. He has been my little ray of sunshine and oats.
We’ve been through hell and back. Deployment, FTX, Hub’s surgery. He was my rock and he didnt even know it. Now its time for him to start this new adventure and I feel like Im losing a part of me.
I know it has to happen, and I am so proud of him and how far he’s come in his young life. The obstacles he’s overcome, the limitations we thought he’d have he’s busted through them. Autism stared at him, he stared at Autism and he won. We are starting school, on time, with kids his own age.
Yes, its a special needs program but barely. Its just a little under the Gen-Ed program, and he’s still learning everything a typical kindergartener would. My heart swells with pride. I am so blessed to be sending him on this journey. We have been blessed to have a child that isnt so far down the spectrum that education is last on our list to maintaining a balance.
Tomorrow is his first day of Kindergarten. What are my hopes and dreams for him? That these next thirteen years are successful and bright for him. I pray that he has an easy road to go, and that the obstacles we’ve faced this far, and the lessons we’ve learnt from said obstacles, will carry him through any other he may face. I want him to realize his dreams. I want him to be what he wants to be. A Doctor. He constantly tells us he wants to be a doctor. I can see that, and I will do anything to help him realize that dream. I will push and pull and be a voice for him.
To my little man, My little ray of sunshine and oats, No matter what curves in the road there are, no matter what life hands you, remember that Mommy is always here. Never let something become too much, never try to bare the weight of the world on your shoulders. Let me carry it with you. Let daddy, figgy, and jellybean help you. Never feel hopeless. ‘Remember, Light can be found in the darkest of times, If one remembers to turn on the light.’ I love you buggy.